I KNEW IT!

 Health District says it isn't discriminating against the elderly for H1N1 shots

BY LENITA POWERS 

Via The Reno Journal-Gazette

"Complaints that the government is guilty of age discrimination for refusing to let people 65 and older with chronic health problems attend H1N1 flu clinics for high-risk groups are unfounded, Judy Davis, spokeswoman for the Washoe County Health District, said Wednesday."

Called it! Ok, so this was downright predictable, but still, I giving myself some kudos. I'm really glad I found this article, mainly for self-validation. Judy Davis continues to lay it down for the old folks....

'We’ve heard some comments that this appears like the government in general doesn’t value its older citizens, but this has nothing to do with age discrimination. It’s about trying to get to the most vulnerable people first.”

Hey! Whoa! Common Sense! It is that sense of entitlement again. Every old person ever: I realize you've walked (albeit slowly) this earth for around 80 years, but that doesn't necessarily entitle you to meds you don't really need but want anyway because you deserve them dagnabbit. 

I could do an entire post on old people's obsession with meds, whether they really need them or not. Sometimes, when I feel  like punishing myself, I listen to Nana talk on the phone to her elderly sister (who is cool because she doesn't tolerate Nana's bullshit). Anyway, they seriously compare doctor visits and the meds that they are prescribed. Its like a one-upping competition about uppers (If you consider blood pressure medication "uppers"). 

Seriously, the elderly of today need to understand that they take the back seat to pregnant women and children when it comes to H1N1 vaccines. Deal with it. 

The Old Man And The Weed

Elderly Man Charged With Smuggling $250K in Marijuana

By Diana Eva Maldonado

Via: Brownsville (teehee) Herald

"U.S. Customs and Border Protection says Federico Hernandez Garza, 74, of Brownsville, was hauling two bundles of wood flooring in a 1995 Ford Aerostar. CBP says he was sent to secondary inspection when an officer found inconsistencies in the bundles of wood."

Another elderly criminal! I am compiling enough stories to have a special on FOX! 

First, bank-robbing old dude, then grandma-killing old lady, now this!

...Maybe he didn't know the weed was in there? Like somebody promised free dinner and flan if he drove the van across the border? Just a thought. 

He probably knew it, though. Look into those eyes. Pure evil. Pure, drug-lovin, evil. I bet the marijuana made him maniacal. 

Does Every Elderly Person Drive With A Neck Brace?

Drivers Simulate Being Elderly

TUESDAY, 10 NOVEMBER 2009 18:37

 VIA WTVQ.COM

"As the first wave of baby boomers gets older, more and more elderly people are driving.

With elderly drivers on the increase, a workshop was held today in Lexington where reporters suited up in a weighted suit that simulated fatigue and the effects of aging on the body.

Driving on a closed course became very difficult, as reaction times were slower, and mobility was impeded."

...This was from a local ABC affiliate in Kentucky, so there is also a broadcast story to go along with it, complete with local reporter (pictured) dressed in a suit that simulates being old.  Elderly suits are the new fat suit. Sorry, Tyler Perry (I just killed your entire career. So there!)

I guess this is a good idea...seems like a waste of time and money, but if it gets the point across...

The video is pretty boring. Reporter just drives around all slow and yuks it up for the camera. For sensationalism sake, lets say it went more like this:

Still, I would absolutely love the opportunity to drive/wreck a vehicle in an old person suit. 

"Where is the ANY key?" Part II

Internet Can Help Save Elderly From Senility

By Jason Mick

Via: DailyTech.com

"The latest study, from the prestigious Semel Institute forNeuroscience and Human Behavior at UCLA found that older adults using the internet were able to sharpen their mental skills and ward off the decline in function that their peers were facing.

When searching for information on the internet, the researchers spotted key decision-making and reasoning centers of the brain firing.  Previous studies have shown that this type of stimulation leads to enhanced cognitive processing and slows the decline in overall brain function."

Adding to the previous post that internet use can decrease depression in the elderly, this article states that internet use can also help save the elderly from impending senility. The internet can do so much!

Decreased senility among the elderly is good for everybody. The general population may no longer have to tolerate this, this, this, or this.

"Where is the ANY key?"

Internet Use Decreases Depression In Senior Citizens: Report

By: Amy Tierney

Via: TMC Net Healthcare

"Spending time online reduced depression among senior citizens by 20 percent, according to a report by the Phoenix Center, a nonprofit group that studies broadband Internet policy issues.

 

The report, “Internet Use and Depression Among the Elderly,” found that the Internet fosters interpersonal communication, helps reduce loneliness and improves a sense of well-being among seniors."

Well I'll be! I can believe this. Nana loves the internet, she would usually call me into the den once a day to help her figure out "where the screen went."  Sadly, I think that Nana is fairly internet savvy compared to most other elderly. I mean, she created a facebook account, has no idea how to use it or upload pictures, but at least she created one. 

I think that sending chain emails about praying for (person, place or thing) is what really improves their sense of well being. The loneliness is reduced by email conversations with Marklar, a Nigerian man who wants to put money in their account for safe keeping (all he needs is your bank account info!), and the interpersonal communication is fostered by emailing pictures of their grandchildren to their entire address book. 

Maybe if more elderly use the internet, I'll start getting hate mail! A girl can dream. 

"You Should Get A Gun"

We shall wait until all five of a person's senses are deteriorated. Their vision shall be blurry, their reaction time slow, their hands shaky, their hearing non-existent, and their judgment shall be poor. 

....Now, let us give them all guns. 

Think that is a bad idea? This jackass doesn't. 

Mr. Eric Puryear of THE EXAMINER (I've never heard of it either) thinks that "armed self defense is a senior citizen’s best chance at stopping a younger and stronger criminal who attacks them."

Yikes. This is a recipe for disaster, sir. Lets encourage those who accidentally step on the gas pedal instead of the brake pedal to buy a Glock. It is comparable to advocating arming middle-schoolers. Can their fragile bones even handle the recoil???

On the other hand, it would boost the economy. After all, I assume that sales of The Back Up® would triple. Then again, accidental shootings would increase tenfold. 

Needless to say, this article scares me. 

Nintendo, Meet Nana.

Recently, Nana asked if she could borrow my Wii so she could practice bowling for a Wii tournament at the senior center. After deflecting the question, I began to really think about old people and Wii gaming...

I don't really play my Wii as much as I should. I rarely play video games, and when I do, I want to do it lazily, without having to move any extremities. So, like manual labor, peas, and sunlight, it just not my thing. 

However, I do think that old people playing Wii is great. It gets them in touch with reality (although Nana did call the controller a "remote") and gets them moving. Also, it familiarizes them with Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach and the gang (This is crucial because it may prevent some young grandchildren from receiving knockoff Nintendo gear from Big Lots for Christmas).

I told Nana that practice was for losers and wished her the best of luck...I leave you with a list of 1o Funniest Photos of Old People Playing Wii. 

PS: The above link has a sequel! Its the SPEED 2 of "top ten" posts. (The joke here is that Speed was bad, and Speed 2 was worse. Apply that knowledge to the above link. AKA, its a lame countdown, and I'm sure "the sequel" is too.)