Why????

Elderly PA Wal Mart greeter assaulted

Via Jackson, NJ News

"North Versailles, PA – Police in North Versailles, Pennsylvania responded within seconds after 55 year old Paul Washington clocked 72 year old Thomas Jenkins, 72, of McKeesport, a holiday shopping greeter outside Wal Mart.

According to a WPXI report, Jenkins said “I am walking down, the next thing you know, boom, I’m on the ground. I didn’t see nothing coming,” said Jenkins. “All I hear is, ‘Pow,’ and I am on the ground laying.”

Jenkins was taken to UPMC McKeesport Hospital and then transferred to UPMC Presbyterian Hospital because he lost a large amount of blood and several teeth in the attack. The cause of the attack may have stemmed from Jenkins requesting to see Washington’s receipt on his way out of the store."

Holy Crap! Given, this blog has been critical of the elderly and their failure to assimilate to our society, but I do not condone sucker-punching a 72 year-old greeter at Wal-mart! (I also do not condone shopping at Wal-Mart)

Normally, I would feel responsible for encouraging this unacceptable behavior, but I am pretty sure the man who punched Thomas Jenkins (not actual photo) is not one of the three avid readers of my blog (Hi, Dad!).

This poor guy. He was working, providing for himself! Then, doing his job, he asks a customer for a receipt and gets cold cocked by Jerk Of The Year. Not only that, he was genuinely injured. Take comfort in the high quality care and respect Wal-mart treats its employees with, so Mr. Jenkins will be well taken care of. Or Not.

Here is the video:

Newsflash: Old People Are Picky

Elderly declare war on socks for Christmas

Via: The Times Of London

"Members of Southwark Circle, an organisation that fights for senior citizens' rights, gathered at a bus station in south London yesterday to campaign for useful presents from friends and family this Christmas."

"...Waving placards declaring "No More Socks," they hope to see an end to the mundane gifts they are given each year."

"...We've all got drawers full of ties," said 89-year-old Stan Hardy, a longtime member of Southwark Circle. "This year we're saying 'if you're going to spend your money, spend it on something we want'"

"..."I'd love to go to the West End and watch a show or get some vouchers for internet lessons or something."

British people are weird.

 First of all, at least your family is still giving you gifts, so don't complain! Secondly, who still gets points across with posters on a street corner? I'd say use the internet, but evidently you need a "voucher" to use it. Do you think Barack Obama got elected standing on a street corner holding a sign? Hell no! Thirdly (is that a word?), tell them what you want. Odds are, you get a new tie every year because you decided to order cioppino at that wedding last year and managed to get it all over your silk tie right in front of the people who bought it for you. 

Is it just me or is this an absurd display of self-absorption? The time spent standing on the street corner demanding non-socks could be used for knitting mittens for poor kids, serving food to the homeless, or watching Wheel of Fortune. 

Remember That One Thanksgiving?

The one where dad got out of the car to fight the old man in the street? Of course you do!

79 Year-Old Hurt In Fight In Irvine

By Sean Emery

Via The Orange County Register

"IRVINE – A 79-year-old was taken to the hospital after confronting a passenger in a vehicle that almost hit him at an Irvine intersection, police said today...

...The elderly man became upset, Hare said, yelling at the vehicle's occupants, who police have identified as a 47-year-old man and his teenage daughter, who was driving the vehicle.

The elderly man struck the hood of the car, Hare said. The car's passenger responded by getting out of the vehicle and 

pushing the elderly man, causing him to trip on the curb and fall to the ground."

So it wasn't a full-blown fight, but good enough. Turns out, elderly man was taken to nearby hospital with pain in all the usual areas: hip, wrist, etc. Charges are yet to be filed. 

As an avid cyclist (I'm in peak physical condition) I have to side with the old man here. I flip more people off riding my bike than I ever have driving. It is dangerous, and there are a lot of idiots (like teenage driver, above) who completely disregard pedestrians and cyclists. So I can understand being pissed off after being nearly struck by a vehicle. Pounding your fist on the hood of the car is good way to get your point across. 

To the man who pushed an elderly person to the ground in front of his daughter: You have ruined Thanksgiving. I hope you are happy. 

I KNEW IT!

 Health District says it isn't discriminating against the elderly for H1N1 shots

BY LENITA POWERS 

Via The Reno Journal-Gazette

"Complaints that the government is guilty of age discrimination for refusing to let people 65 and older with chronic health problems attend H1N1 flu clinics for high-risk groups are unfounded, Judy Davis, spokeswoman for the Washoe County Health District, said Wednesday."

Called it! Ok, so this was downright predictable, but still, I giving myself some kudos. I'm really glad I found this article, mainly for self-validation. Judy Davis continues to lay it down for the old folks....

'We’ve heard some comments that this appears like the government in general doesn’t value its older citizens, but this has nothing to do with age discrimination. It’s about trying to get to the most vulnerable people first.”

Hey! Whoa! Common Sense! It is that sense of entitlement again. Every old person ever: I realize you've walked (albeit slowly) this earth for around 80 years, but that doesn't necessarily entitle you to meds you don't really need but want anyway because you deserve them dagnabbit. 

I could do an entire post on old people's obsession with meds, whether they really need them or not. Sometimes, when I feel  like punishing myself, I listen to Nana talk on the phone to her elderly sister (who is cool because she doesn't tolerate Nana's bullshit). Anyway, they seriously compare doctor visits and the meds that they are prescribed. Its like a one-upping competition about uppers (If you consider blood pressure medication "uppers"). 

Seriously, the elderly of today need to understand that they take the back seat to pregnant women and children when it comes to H1N1 vaccines. Deal with it. 

The Old Man And The Weed

Elderly Man Charged With Smuggling $250K in Marijuana

By Diana Eva Maldonado

Via: Brownsville (teehee) Herald

"U.S. Customs and Border Protection says Federico Hernandez Garza, 74, of Brownsville, was hauling two bundles of wood flooring in a 1995 Ford Aerostar. CBP says he was sent to secondary inspection when an officer found inconsistencies in the bundles of wood."

Another elderly criminal! I am compiling enough stories to have a special on FOX! 

First, bank-robbing old dude, then grandma-killing old lady, now this!

...Maybe he didn't know the weed was in there? Like somebody promised free dinner and flan if he drove the van across the border? Just a thought. 

He probably knew it, though. Look into those eyes. Pure evil. Pure, drug-lovin, evil. I bet the marijuana made him maniacal. 

Does Every Elderly Person Drive With A Neck Brace?

Drivers Simulate Being Elderly

TUESDAY, 10 NOVEMBER 2009 18:37

 VIA WTVQ.COM

"As the first wave of baby boomers gets older, more and more elderly people are driving.

With elderly drivers on the increase, a workshop was held today in Lexington where reporters suited up in a weighted suit that simulated fatigue and the effects of aging on the body.

Driving on a closed course became very difficult, as reaction times were slower, and mobility was impeded."

...This was from a local ABC affiliate in Kentucky, so there is also a broadcast story to go along with it, complete with local reporter (pictured) dressed in a suit that simulates being old.  Elderly suits are the new fat suit. Sorry, Tyler Perry (I just killed your entire career. So there!)

I guess this is a good idea...seems like a waste of time and money, but if it gets the point across...

The video is pretty boring. Reporter just drives around all slow and yuks it up for the camera. For sensationalism sake, lets say it went more like this:

Still, I would absolutely love the opportunity to drive/wreck a vehicle in an old person suit. 

"Where is the ANY key?" Part II

Internet Can Help Save Elderly From Senility

By Jason Mick

Via: DailyTech.com

"The latest study, from the prestigious Semel Institute forNeuroscience and Human Behavior at UCLA found that older adults using the internet were able to sharpen their mental skills and ward off the decline in function that their peers were facing.

When searching for information on the internet, the researchers spotted key decision-making and reasoning centers of the brain firing.  Previous studies have shown that this type of stimulation leads to enhanced cognitive processing and slows the decline in overall brain function."

Adding to the previous post that internet use can decrease depression in the elderly, this article states that internet use can also help save the elderly from impending senility. The internet can do so much!

Decreased senility among the elderly is good for everybody. The general population may no longer have to tolerate this, this, this, or this.